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5 things I'm not going to stress about as a first-time mom

5 things I'm not going to stress about as a first-time mom


Jamie Reed

posted in Pregnancy

“Do you plan to have a natural birth?”

I couldn’t answer her. I mean, I literally couldn’t answer her as her hands were in my mouth. Yes, my dental hygienist, whom I had now known for roughly 10 minutes, was asking me about my birth plans. What a way to make a trip to the dentist even less relaxing!

When I left the office I had some toothpaste samples and a card with the name of my hygienist’s doula and her favorite jogging stroller (both unsolicited). This was not the morning I was planning on.

Obviously there are tons of decisions to be made in regard to becoming a parent but as someone who is anxious about everything, I know there have to be some things to give up in this whole experience. Here are a few pregnancy and baby decisions I’m choosing not to stress about as a first-time mom.

1. A strict birth plan

My ultimate birth plan? Have a baby. Are there some things I’d like to happen (and not happen) during labor? Definitely. And while I’ll let my doctor and husband know my preferences, I know that, really, this whole experience is out of my control. If (and when) things change, I’m preparing myself to listen to the advice of my doctor and medical staff and do what’s best for the baby.

2. Staying “natural”

woman in labor - first time mom decisions

I’m pretty sure however the baby comes out of me will be natural, but as far as having a completely un-medicated birth, who knows? While I’m going to attempt it (mostly because my body doesn’t take well to medication), I also have no idea what to expect from the labor experience so I’m going to allow myself the freedom to do as I need to! If my labor is totally drug-free, great. If I ask for an epidural in the first 10 minutes, great.

3. Having all the right stuff

As a baby I hated to be rocked to sleep. It took my mom a while to figure out that I was happiest when placed in bed and left alone (and not much has changed). Did I still buy one of those highly recommended rocking baby contraptions for my baby? Yep. And if the baby hates it, I’ll find something else. And if I end up disliking the brand of diapers, bottles, or wipes I’ve registered for, I’ll keep trying until I find ones that work better. I don’t have to have all the “right” things now, because who knows what will be best for my baby? *Note to self, keep all the receipts for easy exchanges!

4. Feeding the baby

OK, clearly I’ll make sure the baby is fed, but how it happens I’m a little more relaxed about. (Though I will say I took one look at my breast pump manual and really rethought this whole breastfeeding thing.) I’m going to attempt to breastfeed and if it doesn’t work I’ll move on to other options. Whatever gets the baby fed is what works best for me.

5. Sleep schedules

sleeping baby - first time mom decisions

I’m the first to admit that I have zero idea what to expect with a newborn. And while I have a lot of experienced mom friends who are happy to share their tips and suggestions, especially in regard to baby’s sleeping habits, I’ve decided to hold off on making any decisions until after the baby comes. Do I think getting baby on a good sleep schedule will be easier on all of us? Absolutely! How we get there, time will tell!

Eating, sleeping, delivering the baby, these are all clearly important things to discuss and decide on, I’ve just determined to give myself a little time and a whole lot of grace in getting it all figured out!

Are there any specific things you’re choosing not to stress about when it comes to parenthood?

Images by iStock

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